SEXUAL ABUSE – Who will cry for the Black children?

Op-ed by Adeeba Folami

There are many issues and problems that plague Black people in America; many that arouse anger, cries for justice and lead some to protest, rally and make great noise to bring attention to the cause for which they have been inspired to uphold. Often, these causes relate to what a White person, group, public official or media personality has done or said to, or about, someone Black. Seldom do we see the same amount of energy, passion and outcry when it comes to “Black-on-Black” crime or violations, particularly those taking, negatively affecting or destroying the lives of babies, children and teens.

It is rare to hear outcry about sexual abuse – the raping, molesting and fondling that occurs daily in the overall society but also in our own Black communities and homes. We can wonder how many of the men, and yes, women who become activated to cry for justice in other arenas, are guilty of sexually violating youth in their own communities yet, somehow, fail to see their actions as equally, if not more, detrimental to their own people than the behavior of the people they are complaining about.

Chad Dion Lassiter, MSW

Known research and data tell us that 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys, overall, are victims of some type of sexual abuse but, Chad Dion Lassiter, MSW and President of the Black Men at Penn School of Social Work says the ratios should be lower since many of those victimized never disclose their abuse or if they do, it is after they have reached adulthood.

Adding to that, since the subject is taboo in the Black community, there is even less revelation that takes place so it is possible that 1 in 2 Black girls and 1 in 3 Black boys has experienced sexual abuse and most often by a close, trusted relative or family friend (i.e., someone Black). Where is the outcry over this? This is happening more often than any White-on-Black offense that the government can be petitioned about, that people can rally, protest and march about or file grievances and complain about.

Or does it not matter because some/many believe an adult forcing children to do sexual acts is not a serious offense? A grown man forcing a baby, or girl/boy child to suck his penis is no big deal. Is that the belief? A grown woman thinks she is doing a teen or pre-teen boy a favor by “giving” him the “gift” of his first introduction to sex before he’s emotionally ready to have that introduction. But it’s all good, right? No harm in that – right? WRONG!

History shows  and those who deal with the after effects, (trauma, depression, suicidal tendencies, sexual identity crisis, delinquency, substance abuse, pain and disrupted lives), those who counsel survivors of abuse know firsthand how damaging and deep seated the trauma of sexual violation goes. Lassiter declares the root runs so deep that it goes back to the trans-Atlantic slave trade when, not only were Black women raped, but Black children and, quiet as it’s kept, Black men were too. All by the oppressive and “freaky” White slave masters.

Specifically related to his work with Black male survivors of sexual abuse he says, “We don’t talk about the challenges that Black males face at the expense of being raped by White slave masters during that time. [It] comes up through the generations, just the way Black males have been demasculated, robbed of anything, dehumanized and most of it is centered around the sexual politics. The chopping off of his penis, putting it in a jar and putting it on your mantle. This obsession of the Black male.”

His comments were made during a phone interview with The Black House’s Adeeba Folami for an article series, which has been running in the Denver Weekly News (DWN) on the topic of the sexual abuse of Black males/boys. Most times the focus of sexual abuse articles is on females and girls but less attention has been paid to how this type of abuse affects males. Abuse of any type is tragic and worthy of attention but this author had to alter her own perception of the subject after interviewing sources for this series.

I now understand and must acknowledge that there may be more female abusers out there “amongst us” than previously thought. However, like the larger community, abuse or inappropriate sexual contact by adult females onto adolescent males is not often viewed as abusive or even greatly out of line. Unfortunately, for the boys, there is still the same emotional damage that results, as evidenced in the (true) life story of Antwone Fisher whose experiences were the subject of the Antwone Fisher movie, directed by Denzel Washington. Lassiter believes the movie provided an “amazing breakthrough” for Black male survivors of sexual abuse because it showed Fisher “speaking back” to his suffering. “So how can we teach Black boys/males to speak back to their scars and suffering from a therapeutic sense?” he asked.

Fisher was not only physically abused as a boy by a foster mother but an adult female housemate of that mother repeatedly sexually molested him during his youth. His life story as shared in the movie (and also a biographical book) outlined how that abuse affected him into adulthood and was at the root of him avoiding relationships with women. It also produced the rage and anger that continually landed him in trouble throughout his life until he began, with the help of a military psychologist (played by Washington in the movie), to come to grips with his past and learn what was the cause of his emotional trauma and how to deal with it in a healthy manner.

Sexual abuse is amongst us, as it has been for many, many years and it seems the words of that popular quote, “We have seen the enemy and [it] is us,”can be applied to the Black community in America. We would do well to not only have an awareness of our outer enemies but also the many ways we continue to be enemies to our own selves, families and children, including the continued acts of sexual (and other types of) abuse that are at the root of what causes us to be a problem to ourselves in our homes and communities and to have problems in the overall society.

Access the DWN article series through the following links:

Sexual Abuse of Black Boys: Often results in hyper-masculinization or hyper-feminization (Page 1) (Page 2) (DWN, 11/11/10)

Black Men Learning to Cope With Sexual Abuse: “How do we make the wounded healed?” (Page 1) (Page 2) (DWN, 12/16/10)

Black Males Healing from Sexual Abuse: “It Takes a Healthy Village” (Page 1) (Page 2) (DWN, 12/23/10)

© 2011 – All Rights Reserved – The Black House News
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