op-ed by Adeeba Folami

In late December, the R&B world was shook after Demario “Raz-B” and his older brother Ricardo “Ricky Romance” Thornton, claimed – in videos circulated over the internet – to have been sexually molested by an older cousin, Chris Stokes, the former manager of the teen group B2K. Raz-B, 22, was part of the group from 2001-2004. They said Stokes, who is married with four children, took advantage of Raz-B, (then 11 or 12 and reportedly living with Stokes’ family) and was probably guilty of abusing other boys whose music careers he managed.

Only days later, the script had been flipped with Raz-B issuing an apology (in another internet video) for the previous information that he said was “leaked” without his permission. His brother later took responsibility for the leak. Raz-B further said that the claims against Stokes were not true while his brother maintained the abuse claims were legit, however, in early January, Ricky Romance was spotted dining in Los Angeles with his brother and Stokes and afterward, is quoted as telling the press that the outing was an example of the family unity the three shared and was “for all you haters.”

Some speculate that the retraction of Raz-B was forced or paid for by Stokes – who always denied the charges – but any way about it, the day is a sad one for individuals who truly have been sexually abused by persons in positions of authority. There already is a tremendous difficulty factor involved in breaking one’s silence about abuse – not to mention many who do break it are sometimes not believed – so if it is true that Stokes is innocent and the two young brothers were never abused by him, what a great dis-service the Thorntons have done to true victims of molestation. What a shame if accusing someone of such a serious crime is seen as a game to be played by conscience-deficient people seeking ways to ignite stagnant careers.

Accusing a person of such an act is not a game because, regardless of the person’s innocence or guilt, there always will remain a question in the minds of others and the question currently on the minds of many concerning Stokes is, ‘Did he or didn’t he?’ If he did what he is accused of, Thornton went from breaking his silence – the only true way to begin healing from abuse – and returned to protecting, through his silence and denial, the one who violated him. This would indicate he is a young person in emotional conflict. On the other hand, if Stokes is guilty, he deserves every ounce of exposure, embarrassment and prosecution that should rightfully come his way.

Either way it goes, this whole scenario makes it harder for true victims because they are less likely to be believed in the future and sadly, the increased doubt with which many may now view claims of abuse – particularly relating to the entertainment world – only makes the road easier for real abusers who know how to capitalize on the atmosphere of confusion created by the “game” Raz-B and Ricky Romance admittedly played.

Unfortunately, the entire situation was handled terribly and the truth may never be known, but all is not lost. This can serve as a wake up call to parents who have children/teens in the entertainment world. Clearly fame, riches and singing sex related lyrics at young ages are not all they are cracked up to be. It may be time for these parents to stop sacrificing the mental well being of their children on Hollywood’s altar just for the sake of an ever-depreciating dollar and the chance to be seen with the world’s biggest “stars,” or to become one themselves.  The world of entertainment is no better – and may be worse – than the regular world and in either place, parents should be very particular and selective about into whose hands they place the care and management of their children.

© 2008 – All Rights Reserved – The Black House News
Unlimited online distribution allowed with acknowledgement of bhonline.org as the source

Tags: , b2k, chris stokes, demario thornton, entertainment industry, molestation of hip hop r&b singers, raz b, ricardo thornton, ricky romance, Sexual Abuse, sexual abuse accusations retracted